Posted by Dwight-and-Aileen on Nov 21, '05 1:51 PM for Dwight-and-Aileen's friends and Dwight-and-Aileen's family
While learning math back in the grade school, our teacher taught us this short song:
"Make new friends but keep the old,
one is silver and the other is gold."
one is silver and the other is gold."
Most of the people I am close with I have known for years ..... way back in grade school or prep school even. I like the familiarity of being with someone who has known me since I was five or six years old. They know what I'm like. And they know my parents, my brother and the place I grew up in. They've seen me throw tantrums, struggle with schoolwork, play make believe or drift into dreamland with endless fantasies and crushes. We've basically watched each other grow up .... and skate our way through adolescence.
It's also comforting to be with those I've known since the first week of college. They're the ones who've seen me through a whole lot of changes ... a lot of challenges .... hardships & triumphs, failures & successes, heartaches & joy. And they understand something about why I am the way I am.
It's very important for me to keep these friendships for a very long time. It's something so familiar, so comforting, so right. I prefer to stick with friends I've known for so long that I wouldn't know how to stop being friends with them. They're no longer my friends --- they're like family: there are times when I'm not so sure why I like them, but I know I love them dearly and life wouldn't be the same without them.
Another reason is that, if I didn't have my old friends, I'd have to make new ones, and ever since I could remember, I find that prospect absolutely terrifying. Meeting new people can be a struggle for me, a painful one. Why? Believe it or not, but I'm actually shy. (Some people mistake it as being a snob.) I may throw a smile your way, but it takes all the confidence I could muster to strike up a conversation with you. I'm not entirely sure why that is, or what I'm afraid of. I suppose it's probably a matter of self-confidence. Or maybe because I just don't have enough practice. I lived in a small neighborhood until I left for the US. The times when I needed to make new friends were few and far between. My closest friends, with a few important exceptions, are the people I met back in prep school, grade school and during the first week of college.
And also, I think it is because, I tend to keep to myself most of the time. As I've said before in a previous entry , I just like sit back and watch people. I'm what one could call a peoplewatcher. And during conversations, I prefer to be on the listening end of the spectrum and I fear that people may find me boring at times because of this.
A couple of weeks ago, I spent a wonderful holiday weekend with Lynn, a friend back in sixth grade. She's in the US Army and just recently got off from a tour in Iraq. She's one of those wonderful exceptions I mentioned earlier. Of my good friends, she is one of those I've known for the shortest time ... a year or so. 6th grade. I don't even remember now how we first met, but she was a transferee from Samar, and we were in the same class. And though, we sat a couple of seats apart we somehow ended up pretty close. We always send each other letters and short notes during classes. She left for Guam in the middle of our first year in high school and we lost touch after that. 16 years later, we bumped into each other again ... thanks to people search on msn.com. We're now exchanging emails, letters and phone calls ... as if she never left.
As I were driving her back to the airport, enjoying the ride and the time alone with her, talking about marriage, kids, traveling and anything else that came up, I thought how strange it was that I felt so close to someone I've known for so short a time. It doesn't feel as though she'd left and we missed 16 years of friendship. If i think about it, I know that she doesn't know me in the same way as someone who has known me since i was 10 years old, and I don't know her as well as I know the people that have been friends with for more than half my life. But somehow I feel as though I've known her forever. I started to wonder when that line was crossed, when she became a good friend to me. Is there a specific moment in friendship when that happens? If there was, I didn't notice when it happened, but I am happy that it did.
Old friends, new friends --- doesn't really matter, they're treasures I'd like to keep!
Photo: with Lynn at Mt. Rushmore, SD
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And I'm ever so glad to catch the multiply bug last year ... thanks to multiply, I've met some wonderful people I never thought I'd be close with and build real, unpretentious friendships. I don't have a sister, but I'm blessed with these wonderful women I've considered the sisters I never had. And although there's still so much to know about each other, we're in no hurry. We're taking our time, living the moment and basking in the joy that our friendship with each other brings. That line has been crossed once again, and I'm ever so glad it did!
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dwightnyen wrote on Nov 22, '05
mingaw mulang! =) sa sunod, kita na sad ang mag-kita oi!
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theresehabana wrote on Nov 22, '05
dwightnyen said
 We're taking our time, living the moment and basking in the joy that our friendship with each other brings 
Ayen, we have our lifetime... I just hope we're neighbors uy!!! That would be awesome! Di ba Net? ;-)
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